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That Game of Theirs - KaoruxToshiya - Dir en grey - 1/1 - Whispers in the darkness
Give me a kiss of death...
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Date: 2012-02-23 01:09
Subject: That Game of Theirs - KaoruxToshiya - Dir en grey - 1/1
Security: Public
Music:Ζαφείρης Μελάς - Ανυπάκουη Καρδιά
Tags:kaoruxtoshiya, one-shot
Title: That Game of Theirs
Chapters: oneshot
Author: melinen aka daishimel
Genre: lifey
Disclaimer: The same old song aka no owning
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: cheating
Pairings: KaoruxToshiya
Synopsis: If it’s only a game, why does he care?
Comments: For victoriakada in jrock_valentine's Valentine's exchange. This is my take on one of her prompts. (Thank you for the mods for the beta. ^^)

She is a faceless, nameless person, nothing important in either of their lives. Toshiya looks at her doll-like face, beautifully painted, and feels nothing for her now that the act itself is over and done with. He looks at the door, wondering if Kaoru would already be on his way to the place they share and call home, and she takes the hint for what it’s meant. Quickly and efficiently she straightens out her clothing, picking up what little he had actually bothered to remove from her petite body, and makes her way out of the door and his life.

Toshiya yawns and glances at the other side of the bed, it was still as neatly made as it was when they left in the morning. For a short period of time he entertains the idea of a shower but rejects it in the favour of pushing his shirt off his body and crawling under the covers in the nude. Sleep sounds like a better option now, anyway.

He wakes up before midnight – the clock on the bedside table reads 11:59, he absently notes even when hands are all over his naked chest and familiar lips covers his in a kiss that tastes like alcohol – when Kaoru enters the room, stumbling and falling half on top of his body with his jeans still wrapped around his ankles. Toshiya responds to the kisses, helps his lover out of the jeans and then spreads his legs for him.

The sex is quick and to the point; it’s full of practiced movements and efficiency, though Kaoru remains gentle throughout the whole ordeal. Afterwards Toshiya cuddles sleepily against Kaoru’s warm body and absently wonders when exactly they stopped making love. The thought is fleeting, though, and leaves little trace behind as sleep comes to reclaim him.


It has become a game of sorts for them, over time, to choose random females (never males though, it’s an unspoken rule in their not-quite-a-game) to bed, to flirt with, to spend a moment here and there, always only once before moving on to another pretty one.

Shinya’s keeping tabs on Toshiya’s behalf; it’s not something they have agreed on or even talk about, but should Toshiya want to know the exact amount of his conquests he would only need to turn to Shinya and he’d know. Kyo does the same for Kaoru, as far as he knows (and he doesn’t, preferring to show no interest at all save for a curious glance should the other do it more openly, which of course results into him being more open with his flings as well, and the cycle just kind of creates itself, it’s not Toshiya’s fault now is it?) and Die, well, he’s their Switzerland and that’s about it, really.

Toshiya doesn’t really spend time thinking about their bizarre sexual arrangements but if he would, he’d guess that it’s all about the thrill; or perhaps one or the other has not shown enough attention to his respective partner, or other such nonsense the women’s magazines keep on babbling about. He doesn’t care, not really, (or maybe he doesn’t let himself care) not when they are in the middle of recording their new album and preparing for the following tour. No, he’s busy enough as it is.

Not busy enough to say no when Shinya and Die ask him to join them to their favourite bars for the evening, though; a free evening is a free evening and it would be a sin not to take advantage of it.

It’s the third bar and Toshiya’s second beer when Shinya comments, in his precise and calm manner, the appearance of Kaoru’s latest fling. Toshiya blinks, they don’t usually talk about these things, but his confused glance seems to only encourage the drummer. She is, he is being told (and if Shinya isn’t showing that little half-smile of his behind his drink then Toshiya is a dwarf and how likely would that be, really?), a tall and thin black-haired beauty who, curiously enough, seems to closely resemble one of Toshiya’s past looks. Toshiya looks indifferent and sips his beer, but he knows it would not fool Shinya. Nothing ever fools their Shinya, and Toshiya isn’t sure if it’s a good or a bad thing. Maybe it’s a bit of both, he muses and looks into the depths of the goldish liquid with a pondering look on his face.

This time, though, it’s Die who speaks first; he admits having noticed the same, and isn’t there a pattern in there somewhere, too? Shinya nods and Toshiya can do nothing but ask him if there is something that he perhaps wishes to say to him?

Their problem, Shinya tells him with a sigh concealed in his voice, is that they do not talk.

They so do, Toshiya denies the accusation (and Shinya eyes him with an unreadable expression, then throws a gentle glare – even if glares cannot be gentle by definition, Toshiya muses behind his well hidden amusement, Shinya’s can if the man so desires – at Die who makes a face and then shrugs and generally just looks awkward in the way friends can when thrown in the middle of something they don’t want to handle, let alone can) and offers him an expression that is a mix of smugness, defiance and something that could have been fear had Toshiya not stamped it down and physically wrestled it into something less.

Of these things, Shinya stresses with a dry baby of a smile and Toshiya huffs. He knows there is a hint of truth in what Shinya says, but what if he is content with the way things are? Not happy, no, that would be taking it too far, but content. Toshiya could live with content.

Had lived with content for quite some time now, and would continue to do so in the future as well, thankyouverymuch.

Toshiya can read Shinya’s reply in the blonde’s eyes, suit yourself then, and intently turns the conversation into something that is much less viable to make him think.


Kaoru is home when Toshiya returns from his little bar hopping with Die and Shinya; he is sitting at the kitchen table and reading some magazine, all cute and concentrated with his glasses on and the cat contently sleeping around his shoulders. Toshiya smiles at the adorable sight and walks quietly to his lover, hands itching to remove the glasses from Kaoru’s nose and cover his face with tiny kisses. Instead, he greets him softly and asks him what’s new, all calm and professional, almost.

Kaoru looks up at him and smiles absently, removes the glasses and surprises Toshiya by carefully pulling him into his lap (they cannot wake up the sleeping beauty, after all) and nuzzling his neck. Toshiya grins and leans against his lover’s strong body and gives into the temptation.


Toshiya looks down on Kaoru’s naked body from his position of riding the other and feels more connected to his lover than in such a long time; he has almost forgotten what it feels like, except that now he wonders how he ever could have. He leans closer for a kiss, passionate yet gentle, and loses himself in the pleasure.

They talked, a bit – only a few words really, but sometime a few words is all that is needed to make a difference – before moving down that familiar path of desire. The cat was rudely awoken and showed her displeasure clearly, too, but neither was too observant this time around. Toshiya remembers it all as he lies there in Kaoru’s arms afterwards, still short of breath but not minding in the slightest as he listens to Kaoru’s heartbeat and lets it slowly lull him towards slumber.

Maybe we should talk about this thing, Kaoru murmurs against Toshiya’s hair and yawns and pulls his body tighter against his own.

Maybe we should, Toshiya echoes sleepily but he knows that it’s a topic better saved for tomorrow.

This entry was originally posted at http://daishimel.dreamwidth.org/36323.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
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User: elenilovesyou
Date: 2012-02-23 15:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
kommentoin tähän koska kännykän netti.

WHAT IS THIS :DD this was kinda ..ingenious. and cute and funny. not angsty!fic about cheating, yay.

I love Die&Shin in this didn't see that coming
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